I’ve been thinking a lot about the man I married. Perhaps it’s the fact that we are going through a pretty significant season of change – but I find myself very pensive and sentimental when I think about him.
Some of you know our story… but I would have NEVER thought that Jeff Kerr was the guy I was going to marry. And he NEVER thought he would marry someone like me. I liked guys who were very put together; Jeff owned two shirts, a rusty 1977 orange VW rabbit, and had the most laid back approach to life I had EVER seen. Jeff liked “outdoor” girls who didn’t mind push starting his car and backpacking in the mountains; I prefer “working cars” and staying indoors. During one heated spat during our dating years, I think the verbiage went something like this… “I have no idea why I like you… you are spoiled and pretentious” to which I replied… “I don’t know why I like you either… you are cheap and lazy.”
Yet, here we are. 13 years, 4 kids, 2 houses, and 1 fantastic wedding later, I am overwhelmingly grateful that God chose to graciously give me the guy I needed, even if I didn’t know it was what I wanted at the time. He has changed me – for the better – in more ways that I can possibly recount. He has enlarged my Kingdom perspective, loosened me up, and brought more joy and adventure to my world than I knew was possible. I am SO thankful.
I was thinking about all you girls out there that are still looking for Mr. Right. I remember those days so well. All the highs and lows. The heartache and excitement. The confusion and questions. There is NO greater decision you will make in your entire lifetime outside of your faith in Jesus. You are determining not only your future in the most intimate way, but you are choosing the future of your children as well.
So, I am praying for “all the single ladies” today. I am praying for those of you that are in the midst of determining if “this is the guy” or not. I’m praying for those of you who are discouraged and lonely. I’m praying for you who are in a relationship that you KNOW isn’t the right one… that you will have the courage and strength to not let your heart lead you into a lifetime of regret.
I remember so clearly a summer that I went to stay with my Grandmother after my Grandpa had passed away. We would sit around the kitchen table with a pot of coffee and reminisce about their life together. The years when their children were little, the seasons of heartache and challenge, the time they spent when their children were grown and it was back to just the two of them. Their life was one of sweet companionship. I remember listening to her and something suddenly clicked inside of me.
At the time, I was CRAZY in love with a boy that I couldn’t seem to let go of even though I knew he wasn’t God’s best for me. My heart kept telling me that this was the right thing…but my spirit knew that it wasn’t. I just couldn’t seem to let go. But sitting at that table, I imagined myself 40 years later and asked myself what I REALLY wanted my life to look like. It was in that moment that I found the courage to walk away from something good, and commit to having something great.
And today I sit here, so eternally thankful for a man who loves me so selflessly. Who gently and faithfully leads our family. Who invests in our children. Who challenges me and believes in me. Who constantly makes me laugh and rarely makes me cry.
And your guy is out there too. Don’t settle for anything less.